


Get A Date With Your Potential Soulmate

by iiCinnamonBun



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst?, Deh - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Male/Male, References to Depression, References to Drugs, SMOKING DRUGS, Soulmates, Swearing, Tree Bros, dear evan hansen - Freeform, gayyyyy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-02-28 12:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13271730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiCinnamonBun/pseuds/iiCinnamonBun
Summary: In this universe, everyone has a necklace that matches with your soulmates. Some soulmates are across the world, some die before you can meet them, and some simply hide their necklaces.





	1. The Beginning

Summer vacation had just ended. Evan groaned at the thought of school, he only had one friend. That was Jared but he’s practically forced to hang out with him, so he isn’t considered much of a friend. Evan glanced at his necklace; apparently you have a soulmate and they have a matching necklace. It’s something the one soulmate loves, or something the other soulmate loves.. And he felt bad for his soulmate.

‘I’m such a mess, I bet my soulmate won’t like me despite us being “meant for each other.” Evan has anxiety and of course has low self-esteem, causing these thoughts. He is also quite a nature person, and his necklace looks like a cartoon tree a kid would draw. It was silly. He tucked his necklace under his shirt, he didn’t want people to see it. He felt like it was too.. abnormal in other people’s opinions.

Evan got ready for school and went downstairs. He smells something like.. toast? He looks in the kitchen and sees his mom putting butter onto some toast following with strawberry jelly.

“Morning, Mom.” His mom jumped a bit and turn around. “You scared me, Evan,” She said with a smile. “I made you some toast for you before you go to school.” He had to admit, it looked appetizing. He grabbed a piece and bit into it. Even though it’s only toast, it tasted great. He scarfed down the rest faster than the Flash.

“Thanks, it was really good.” He gave her a soft smile, and Heidi returned one to him. “You’re welcome sweetie. Now hurry to school, you don’t wanna be late for bus.” Evan looked at the time and realized the bus was going to be here soon. He grabbed his backpack, a jacket, and waited at the bus stop. It was the beginning of autumn, and there was a strong breeze, making it a bit cold.

He was staring up at the ground until he heard people yelling. He looked up across the road and saw Zoe and Connor arguing. 

‘Please don’t come to the bus stop please don’t come to the bus stop please don’t come to the bus stop.’

He came to the bus stop. He saw Connor saying something to Zoe and then he walked across the street towards Evan. Evan quickly looked down at the sidewalk again. He hoped Connor didn’t know he was watching the interaction from before.

“Were you eavesdropping on me?” He sounded kinda annoyed and Evan gripped onto the backpack straps.

“N-no! I mean, I s-saw what happened, but I didn’t h-hear anything!” Connor just looked at him and proceeded to roll his eyes. “Whatever. I don’t want to deal with this right now.”

Evan let out a quiet sigh of relief. Connor was known to be short tempered and he did not want to make him angry. A few minutes passed and he pulled out his phone from his back pocket, sending Jared a text message.

Evan: Where’s the bus?

Jared didn’t answer for a few seconds, but then Evan saw three dots indicating he was typing.

Jared: chill. its coming, its just late. but since we won’t be there before the 10 minute bell rings, it’s less time in that hell hole, so that’s good ig

Evan: Okay, thank you.

Jared: no problem buddy

Evan put his phone away, looked left, and saw the bus turning into his neighborhood. The bus arrived and opened the doors. Evan usually likes to say something like ‘good morning’ to the driver because not many kids do that. He let Connor go on first and then followed.

“G-good morning.” The bus driver looked in his direction, smiled, and replied with “Good morning.” The bus was full. Evan was surprised by this. The bus was typically half way filled with students. 

‘Did we have to merge with another bus??’ He looked for an available seat, but everyone including Jared were sitting next to someone. Everyone except Connor, who was sitting in the back being all emo. He rushed towards Connor, looking at the floor, not daring to look at him in the eye. He sat down and the bus took off. 

Because Evan is a hobbledehoy, (an awkward teenager; one who is perpetually ungainly and uncertain), he likes to think of jouskas (a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head). Evan heard it was something people with anxiety do. He thought of what if his soulmate got together. And were happy. But of course, no one would like him and this was all hypothetical.

~ Connor’s POV ~

‘Of all days, the day where this bus is full is when Zoe and I fight and won’t let me get a ride.’

Connor didn’t know the name of the kid sitting next to him, but he appears to be nervous and scared around him. Connor wished he could be normal like other kids. Or get professional help that Larry won’t provide him. 

‘Fuck Larry.’

Generally, Connor doesn’t wear his necklace, but he wore it today. But he hid it underneath his black hoodie. He didn’t exactly want to disappoint his soulmate, whoever they were, because Connor was a wreck. In a summary he’s a depressed drug addict with a short temper.

‘Why the hell is my necklace a tree, though? Why the fuck does my soulmate love trees?’ Connor did like nature. He liked the sky, flowers, and water. Trees could be pretty, but he only thought so in fall, when the leaves changed to the fiery colors of reds, oranges, and yellows.

‘Maybe I could find my soulmate? A person who would actually like Connor.’ Most people have found their soulmates ever since they were little, like Zoe and her boyfriend, but some were separated countries apart and never met. Connor doesn’t want his soulmate to be all the way across the world, he felt so lonely. 

He pushes his mom away even when she’s trying her best, he ruined his relationship with Zoe, and Larry doesn’t give one shit about him, he has no one. Larry only cares about Connor’s mom always bugging him about Connor. He feels like he should try to make a friend, even if it was with this anxious boy next to him. Maybe he would give him a chance?

“Hey. What’s your name again?” Connor doesn’t know if that’s how you’re supposed to talk with a person, but whatever. 

“U-um I’m E-Evan.. You’re Connor, r-right?” Evan was playing with the hem of his shirt and avoided eye contact. He’s definitely scared. As expected, though.

“Yeah. Nice to meet you?” Connor said that like it was a question. “N-nice to meet you too..” The bus arrived at the school. It felt like an eternity to get there. 

‘Was there traffic? Or do I have no fucking sense of time?’ Connor then heard the bell that means either school has just started, or there’s still ten minutes before class. He looked in through the windows and saw students still in the cafeteria, waiting to be dismissed by the principal or vice principal, Connor didn’t pay attention to who it was.

I guess there’s ten minutes left. Everyone got off the bus including Connor. He walked to his locker to put some stuff away, grabbed materials he needed, placed them in the classroom, and walked out the school. He took out cigarettes from his bag and lit it. He needed to relax before school started. It had been about six minutes when he looked at the time on his phone and decided he had to go to class.

~ Time skip to free period ~

Connor went to the computer lab, looking to go onto Cool Math 4 Kids like any mature teenager would. He opened the door to the computer lab and saw Evan in the far left corner. He sat next to him. Was Evan.. researching trees? 

Nonononono, Evan couldn’t possibly be his soulmate. He was too pure and.. innocent! I mean lots of people must like trees, right? Right? Connor is letting this slide, considering Evan and Connor would never work out. 

He feels he should talk to him now. He pokes Evan’s shoulder lightly and he jumps, letting out a yelp. It was.. cute? Connor smirked slightly and spoke.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Evan looked confused at that remark. 

“W-what? I d-don’t… what?” Evan was too fucking adorable. “Relax, it’s an expression.” Evan turned red after hearing that. 

“I.. I knew th-that..” Evan definitely did not know that and it was obvious. And it was. Fucking. Cute. Why was Connor feeling this way? Can you even fall for someone who isn’t your soulmate? Or is he? Connor had no idea. But he needed answers soon.


	2. The Orchard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys become friends while in the orchard! IT'S PROGRESS! 
> 
> Be More Chill reference ;)

~ Connor’s POV ~

The rest of the week was weird. Connor kept stalking Evan, trying to see his necklace, but he hid under his shirt and he couldn’t think of a way to ask Evan to see it. That would be a weird thing to ask someone.. probably.

 

At least it was the weekend. Connor went out of his room, into his car, and drove to the orchard. He proceeded to the largest tree and sat, leaning against the tree. It was relaxing, a time no one can bother him. He goes here whenever he needs to think, is angry, sad, or anxious. And at the moment he was thinking of a way to befriend Evan.

 

Then he heard a whispered voice. Who did it belong to? He looked up and saw a figure on a tree branch. Connor stood up, trying to get into a position to see the figure.

 

Something wet striked his face. Was the person crying? He heard some sniffles coming from them. Connor felt he should say something.

 

“Hey.. are you okay?” The sniffling stopped abruptly.

 

“Y-yeah, I’m f-fine.” His voice was wavering. He sounded familiar. And the ‘I’m fine’ response? People who are  _ not _ okay always say that, Connor would know.

 

“Dude, you’re obviously not fine. Do you wanna get your ass down here and talk about it?” That came out more aggressive than he wanted it to. “Sorry, that sounded mean.”

 

The person started to descend from the branch. They seemed to be wearing jeans and a black hoodie. Once they reached the ground, they turned around. It was Evan. Why would Evan be upset?

 

“Evan?” He said surprised. “Why are you upset?” Evan looked surprised as well. 

 

_ ‘He’s probably surprised because the ‘school shooter’ is showing sympathy for someone.’  _ Evan’s face turned a light shade of pink and he turned his face away from Connor.

 

“I-it’s nothing, really. Just an a-argument with J-Jared. L-like usual.” Connor’s face portrayed annoyance after hearing that. Fucking Jared. What did he do now? 

 

“What did he say to you that would make you so upset?” Evan looked at the ground, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He seemed hesitant to inform Connor with what happened. 

 

“He s-said he o-o-only hangs out with m-me because his p-parents tell him t-to. Because he’s a f-family friend I g-guess..” Evan scanned the ground like it was the most interesting thing ever, anxious as always.

 

Evan continued, “I was a-aware of it t-too, but it s-still hurts.” Tears start to travel on his face again, Evan sniffling up a storm. Evan obviously needs to stop hanging out with Jared.

 

“You shouldn’t be ‘friends’ with him, in my opinion. If he’s only with you because his parents make him and he doesn’t really like you, it isn’t worth it.” Evan finally looked at Connor. He’s still avoiding eye contact, but it’s a work in progress.

 

“But he’s m-my only f-friend?”

 

“Is he really a friend, Evan? He doesn’t act like one.” Evan seems to be lost in thought, hopefully  contemplating what Connor said.

 

“How about you drop his sorry ass and just become friends with me? That is if you’re willing to give someone like me a chance.” Connor had a glimpse of hope in his eyes. Evan finally initiated eye contact, appearing to also have some hope. He may still be scared, but willing to get to know Connor.

 

“O-okay.” Evan grinned after saying that, and Connor did too. He finally had a friend. 

 

“Hey, Connor..?” Evan said in a hushed voice.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thank you.. for comforting me. A-and being my friend, I k-know I’m not the b-best, so.” How could he even think that?

 

“It’s no problem.” Connor looked at Evan’s left arm. “No one’s signed your cast.”

 

“No, I know.”

 

“I’ll sign it.”

 

“Oh. Um… you don’t have to.” He doesn’t have to, but of course he wants to. It feels like something a friend would do. And Jared hasn’t signed his cast, so they weren’t good friends, were they? That was a rhetorical question, obviously.

 

“Do you have a Sharpie?” Evan doesn’t say anything, he simply reaches into his pocket and pulls a Sharpie out. He knows he asked Evan for one, but why did he actually have one in his pocket? He handed the Sharpie to Connor and he continued to write his name is large letters, taking up a large quantity of the cast.

 

“Oh. Great, thanks.” He didn’t sound too excited, but while inspecting the signature he had a goofy smile on his face. It felt nice that someone was actually happy due to Connor.

The two boys have an ongoing conversation lasting from one 4:24 to about 6:45. The sound of laughter echoing about the orchard. Connor was slightly shocked when Evan genuinely laughed at his jokes. No one had before.

 

“Y’know.. it’s nice to see that someone can appreciate my sense of humor,” Connor told him. “People generally stay silent, maybe they’re like that because they don’t expect me to tell jokes? But they did acknowledge they were jokes. The least they could do was fake laugh or smile. You’re cool, Hansen.” 

 

“O-oh. Thank you.. you’re cool too. We should h-hang out more?” He said it like a question, as if he never had a real friend before, like no one wanted to hang out with him. Not once. Even Connor had friends at a young age. Possibly because they pitied him, but whatever.

 

“Yeah, that’d be.. great. Tomorrow? Like, tomorrow I could come over, if you want me to.” 

 

“Of course I would! I m-mean yeah, I’d love for you to come over.” Evan had excitement written all over his face, a small smile accompanying it.

 

Connor pulled out his phone from his pocket, turned it on, and looked at the time. It was almost closing time?!

 

“Evan, the orchard is gonna close in like four minutes. We should go home.” Evan’s face faltered, disappointed that they had to part ways.

 

“R-right. Well um.. see you t-tomorrow. Oh! Wait before w-we go, can we exchange phone n-numbers?” No one had actually wanted to exchange numbers with him unless they had to work on a project for school. Connor was jovial. He gave Evan his phone and Evan gave his to Connor. They both put their numbers in each other's phones while walking towards the exit.

 

They were walking towards their homes in silence, beaming all the way there.

 

“It’s been fun, Hansen. See you tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah it’s been a-awesome. But, uh, yeah.. bye!”

 

Connor watched Evan as he was approaching his home, as if that was a normal thing. 

 

_ ‘I’m such a creep, what the hell am I doing?’  _ Evan went inside Connor did too.

 

He made sure to avoid his family while going upstairs to his room. Connor changed into black and white fleece flannel pants with a long-sleeved black shirt and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 99% sure I wrote less than the first chapter, but uhhhhhh I thought I left it on a good enough note for it to be another chapter anyways. Thank you all for the nice comments and kudos! It really motivated me.
> 
> Also,,, I wrote this chapter in a day? If it's bad I'm sorry :.)
> 
>  
> 
> Ay also, there's gonna be mentions of self-harm because I'm gonna make it so Connor used to do it (mental illnesses are fun), but of course stopped because Evan came into his life. This will most likely be revealed to Evan when they're together or something?


	3. Two-Player Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys play a video game together and decide to have a sleep over

~ Evan’s POV ~

 

What time was Connor going to come over? Is he still going to come? What will he think of his house, and more importantly, him? Evan breathed in deeply, only to release it. It’s only 1:40, Evan usually didn’t sleep in like that, but the affects from crying so much yesterday caused him to lose much of his energy and so, he had to rest for a while.

 

_ ‘Maybe I should just listen to music and wait.’ _ He grabbed his laptop from his desk and put on songs by The Neighbourhood while on YouTube. He liked the band, their songs were chill. He closed his eyes and nodded his head to the beat.

 

Out of the blue, Evan’s phone buzzed. He grabbed it from his nightstand and unlocked his phone. Connor texted.

 

Connor: is your refrigerator running?

 

Evan: Yes..?

 

Connor: good, mine too, ill see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow

 

_ ‘What was he talking about? We never planned something like a refrigerator race..’ _

 

Evan: What do you mean?? We never planned anything!

 

Connor: i was just messing with you. i texted to tell you ill be coming over now

 

Evan: Oh, okay. 

 

In under 30 seconds, his doorbell rung. Connor did live across the street, after all. Evan rushed to the door and unlock it. He had trouble with it, not knowing which way the locks were supposed to go. He finally got it open and examined Connor.

 

Connor was wearing a typical black hoodie and black pants, as expected. Honestly, to Evan, he looked kind of cool. He had the same empty look on his face with his blue eyes. Except, his right eye was half brown. That’s pretty weird, but then again it was awesome. Connor opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Can I come in, or..?” Evan realized he was staring at him for a while and turning red.

 

“Y-yeah, sorry. What do you, uh, want to do?” Normally when Jared had to be with Evan, he’d play video games, ignoring the other boy and not letting him do anything.

 

“Dude, this is  _ your _ house. The guest doesn’t generally pick out what they do.” Right. He’s never really had anyone over before, doing what he wanted. There were board games, two-player video games, television, or YouTube. Does YouTube count as television? Evan didn’t know, but frankly didn’t care.

“Uh, there’s video games or um.. YouTube? Or w-we could like, watch movies a-and TV shows. If you like any of those th-things, that is..” Connor was pondering what he wanted to do, staring at the floor.

 

His hair looked nice and soft. Evan wanted to mess with it, run his fingers through it.

 

_ ‘nO HOMO..!’ _

 

“How about video games? What games do you have?” Connor said after looking at Evan, who was caught staring again. Evan quickly turned his head away, once again blushing. Connor smirked, Evan blind to it due to looking away.

 

“I have Apocalypse of the, um, Damned, Mortal Kombat, Resident E-Evil games… but the Resident Evil g-games that are multiplayer, s-so we could both play. There’s m-many more, but..” Connor liked Apocalypse of the Damned, but he never had someone to play it with.

 

“I like Apocalypse of the Damned. I’m stuck on level nine, though.”

 

“I’m stuck o-on level eight.” Connor gave a small smile and followed the other to the basement, where his console was. He gave Connor a controller, along with one for himself. They sat on the couch and started the game from level eight.

 

Evan was surprised by how good Connor was at level eight, he was stuck on the level for forever! They breezed past it, starting Lvl. 9: The Cafetorium. Evan was quickly overwhelmed by the large quantities of zombies, but with a friend it wasn’t all too difficult. Although, Connor had to heal Evan a few times.

 

They passed it.  _ They passed it. _ Both the boys were in awe. Overwhelmed with joy, Evan jumped up from his seat on the couch, launching his arms in the air, yelling in satisfaction. Connor snapped back to reality and did the same. He wasn’t beaming as much as Evan, but he was still jovial.

 

Evan stepped towards Connor, arms stretched out for a hug. The other boy was confused at first, but realized what he was going for and hugged him. They were soon conscious of what they were doing and let go of each other, both red as a beet with smiles plastered on their faces. Evan spoke up.

 

“I think we should leave it there, n-no getting all frustrated over level 10. I r-really don’t want this euphoric feeling to just… stop because o-of that.” Connor nodded his head in agreement. They sat back down on the couch. Connor turned towards Evan with a confused look.

 

“Honestly, why did you invite me over? Literally no one likes me.” Evan was looking for the correct words to tell him, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

 

“W-well.. you’re funny, and r-really nice, and you comforted me.. you seem like a real friend, too. I uh. I think you need someone too? A real friend, like me?”  It felt great to Connor, it was obvious for his eyes lit up.

 

“Thanks. I, uh, appreciate that. The same goes for you, you know.” Connor had noticeably blushed and Evan saw. It was pretty cute.

 

_ ‘Wait, what?’ _

 

“T-thanks.” Evan felt his face growing hotter, indicating a blush. Is he  _ really _ developing a crush? On Connor, his first real friend of all people? Evan shrugged it off, it was too soon to tell anyways.

 

~ Time skip to 4:00 ~

 

The pair had been talking for most of the time, sometimes they watched a video on YouTube, giving their commentary on it. Not good videos, no, the videos on the weird side of YouTube. Connor looked like he was worried about sometimes, picking at his black nail polish, making the polish even more chipped.

 

“Is s-something wrong? You um. You look n-nervous.” Connor didn’t look at Evan.

 

“My family and I fought this morning, the usual. I mean it was worse than normal because Larry is being a huge dick… the point is things got physical.” Evan was afraid for him. 

 

“Ummm.. are you okay going home? I-I mean you can like, stay o-over if you n-needed to..” That’s weird, isn’t it. He knew Connor for about a day or two, and he’s asking him if he wanted to sleep over? He already uttered the words, though. No taking it back.

 

“Actually, that’d be pretty good. I’m guessing Larry doesn’t want me back home for at least a day. Thanks.” Okay, he didn’t think it was weird. Good.

 

“It’s n-no problem. Will you be able to get another outfit from your m-mom or something?” Connor just nodded.

 

Well tonight’s going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to improve my writing, so constructive feedback is welcomed! Also,, fluff and a Be More Chill reference!! :)


	4. Eavesdropping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi teases Evan a bit for his lil' crush ;)

~ Connor’s POV ~

Playing videogames with Evan was fun and all, but he probably shouldn’t have asked to stay over. It was weird, wasn’t it? The pair hadn’t known each other for long and yet this is happening.

 

Although, Connor didn’t want to go home and face Larry. Theoretically, this is the better option no matter how abnormal it seems. He was relieved that Evan let him stay over. To be fair, Evan probably couldn’t say no to anything, because he gives the impression that everyone walks all over him. He’s “too nice.”

 

Connor was dragged out of his thoughts when Evan spoke up. He didn’t hear him the first time, though, and looked at him with a questioning expression.

 

“Um.. I asked if you wanted to, like, watch a movie?” His eyes darted towards the carpet while he was pondering what to choose. The memester inside of him knew of two movies they could watch.

 

“Shrek or The Bee Movie.” He said with a smirk. Of course he didn’t like those movies unironically, though.

 

“How about… Shrek? For the um, song by Smash Mouth.” Connor merely nodded, watching the screen blanky as Evan pulled up Netflix and selected Shrek. As “All Star” came on, Connor mumbled the words, not wanting the other to hear him. Evan, however, hummed the song at a volume enough for Connor to hear.

 

At certain points of the movie, the two smiled or laughed a bit, due to the dirty jokes in the movie, making some of their own with each other. Connor wouldn’t have guessed Evan was capable of creating jokes such as those, he seemed too pure and a “cinnamon roll.”

 

He slowly inched closer to Evan, feeling more and more comfortable with him. And maybe because he had a crush. He looked at his chest, searching for his necklace. He was sure you couldn’t like someone who wasn’t your soul mate. Sure, he could just ask or show Evan his necklace, but that’d make him look desperate in his opinion. And he wasn’t  _ that _ desperate.

 

Evan put his left hand up to scratch his face. When he returned his hand, it accidentally touched Connor’s. Both of them immediately turned a deep shade of red, unquestionably embarrassed.

 

“S-sorry..” Evan said while looking the other way.

 

“It’s okay.” It was more than okay.

 

It’s currently 2:00 in the morning. They spent all this time watching cringey videos, vine compilations, and other things like that because they had nothing else to do.

They were both extremely weary, it was surprising they were still awake. Connor was significantly more tired than Evan, however. 

 

Connor practically passed out. This is evident because he rested his head upon Evan’s lap, his eyes shutting as he’s falling asleep. Evan tensed up but in time, he relaxed. He grabbed the remote controller from his right to turn off the TV. As soon as he laid back into the couch, he fell asleep as well.

 

~ Sunday morning ~

 

When Connor woke up, Evan wasn’t there with him. He went upstairs to hear two voices speaking who he assumed was Evan and his mom. Before he was at the top, he decided to listen in.

 

“-But anyways, you made a new friend? His name is Connor, right?” She sounded excited. To be fair, Evan said that he didn’t have any “real” friends up until now, so it was reasonable.

 

“Yeah, he’s really cool, and funny, and nice, and an overall great person! And uh, a great friend.” Is that really how he thought of him? That felt.. amazing. Amazing that someone genuinely liked him. That someone had a positive opinion on him.

 

“Evan, you’re blushing. Do you.. like him? Is he your soulmate? No judgement or anything, I accept you!” Connor’s eyes widened as his cheeks became red, his face burning.

 

“Mom!” But it came out more like “Moooooooooooom!”

 

“Sorry sweetie. But you can tell me anything, you know?”

 

_ ‘Yes, Evan, tell her. Do you like me or not?’  _

 

“I-I don’t know.. I mean, I think I.. like h-him. But I, I haven’t gotten the chance to see his necklace! S-so I, uh, don’t know if we’re really.. really soulmates.” Connor was as red as a tomato at this point. Maybe he should show him his necklace after all? Or wait for it to come up in a conversation.

 

“I think you’d be wonderful together, honey! Maybe you should ask to see his necklace to know.”

 

“M-maybe.. but I’m too--too anxious about i-it? A-and I can’t just ask to see it out of nowhere!” Connor decided to make them think he wasn’t eavesdropping, he’d go down a couple stairs quietly and then walk up so they’d hear him. While doing so, he brushed his hair with his fingers to look at  _ least _ decent.

 

“G’morning.” Connor said sleepily, pretending that he wasn’t awake until now. Evan and Heidi were staring at him in silence, Evan clearly blushing as Heidi has a mocking smile on her face.

 

“Good morning, Connor. If you need or want to stay here any longer, you’re always welcome.” Heidi said sweetly. Connor liked her already.

 

“Thank you Miss Hansen. I think I can go home today, so.” He could go home now, but he’d rather spend the rest of the day with Evan. He doesn’t like being home anyways. He opened his mouth to speak until he saw Evan was going to as well.

 

“D-do you wanna.. wanna do something today?” Was that even a question? Of course he’d say yes. It was time with Evan.

 

“Of course. But what do you want to do..?”

 

“We could… could go to  À La Mode..?" Is he asking him on a date?  _ What? _ Maybe he didn’t acknowledge it was like a date, but.. maybe he did? 

 

He’s never been on a date. What would he do? What would he say? He’s freaking out about this situation, and yet he looks completely calm on the outside.

 

“Y-yeah. That sounds, uh, great.” He muttered with a blush.

 

“Okay.. uh. Do you have a car?”

 

“No, but we can use my sister’s car.” Connor thought Zoe may let him borrow her car if she knew Evan was coming with him. Zoe and Evan aren't friends or anything, but Connor was pretty sure they've talked before.

 

“Alright. Let’s-- let’s go.” The two of them smiled and headed for the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I couldn't think of what to write!! I hope you guys like it :)


	5. Á La Mode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on a date

~ Evan’s POV ~

Evan Hansen. Is on a date. With Connor Murphy. Is he dreaming because if so, fuck him gently with a chainsaw. He couldn’t calm down the entire way to  Á  La Mode, seeing as he kept tap, tap, tapping his fingers on his thighs.

 

When they finally arrived and parked, Connor shook Evan’s shoulder to get him to snap out of his daze. When he did, Evan flinched.

 

“Oh! Um, sorry..” Evan blurted out.

 

“Evan, dude, it’s okay. We’re here though, so let’s go.” He gave Evan a soft smile and the two of them exited the car, proceeding to the entrance. Connor walked past Evan to hold the door for him.

 

“Thank-thank you..” Evan blushed as he entered.

 

“No problem, Ev.”  _ Ev _ _?_ No one but his mom has ever called him a nickname. Does this mean Connor and him are close friends now? He hoped so. It felt nice.

 

The both of them rushed to search for the flavor of ice cream they want. Why were there always such weird flavors? There were flavors like bacon, some wasabi and a green tea ice cream..? To be fair, the green tea one might be tasty, but Evan isn’t going to waste money on a flavor he might not like.

 

“Hey Con- Connor. I bet you’d like the, uh… bacon ice cream.”  He obviously meant it sarcastically, but Connor turned his head so fast with a smile plastered on his face.

 

“Bet.”

 

“W- wait, seriously?” Surely he wouldn’t actually get it. Surely.

 

“I’m taking this as a challenge, Hansen. I’m getting it. Also, do you want me to order for you, because your anxiety and all..?” That’s- that’s so considerate. Evan hated to order for himself. He generally stuttered and felt judged. He also felt judged if he took too long in a line at a grocery store

 

“Yeah! Thank you. I’d like um- I’d like vanilla.” As he said this, he had a huge grin. He was grateful for Connor ordering for him.

 

And so, Connor ordered for the both of them. Evan took out his wallet so he could pay for his own ice cream, but Connor denied it.

 

“I’m gonna pay, okay, Ev?” He wanted to pay for himself, not let Connor spend his own money on him. He simply thought he didn’t deserve it. Connor wouldn’t let him pay, and he knew this. He felt guilty because of it.

 

“I’d- I’d feel bad if you spent money on me, though..” Connor shook his head and paid. Evan heard him mumble something that sounded like “You’re worth it,” but he wasn’t sure.

 

“What’d you say?”

 

“Nothing.” Evan wanted to know if he said what he thinks he said. But he decided to just forget about it, not wanting to annoy Connor.

 

“O-okay.” The two of them took their ice cream and sat next to each other at a booth. Connor was hesitant to try the bacon ice cream, but he regardless licked it. Evan watched to see his reaction. Surprisingly, he didn’t seemed phased.

 

“It’s okay, I guess. Not my favorite.”

 

“Really? Can-can you like take off a piece with a spoon so I can try?” Not gonna lie, Evan was interested to see how it tasted. Connor smiled.

 

“You can just lick it in a different spot, I don’t care.” That sounded a little bit wrong. Though he won’t point it out and make it weird.

 

“Are you sure..?” Evan said questioningly.

 

“Yes, now just try it.” Connor directed the ice cream towards Evan’s face. He felt a bit uncomfortable. He took a small lick and his face scrunched up. It was terrible! How could Connor tolerate it?

 

“That’s horrible! How can you withstand this? Are you a god?” Connor laughed.

 

Suddenly, Evan got out his chair, went on his knees, and bowed down.

 

“All hail the almighty Connor Murphy!” Both of their faces were red due to laughing so much. Evan took a moment to watch Connor. He really was pretty, wasn’t he? His laugh, his smile.. all amazing. Not many people got to see it, which was quite a shame. 

 

Connor caught him staring and he swiftly turned his head, a blush creeping onto his already red face.

 

He went back into his seat and continued to eat. While eating, they talked about whatever came into mind. Evan told a couple of puns, each time Connor lets out a playful groan.

 

“Why was the popsicle so annoyed?” Puns were Evan’s favorite.

 

“I don’t know, Evan. Why?” Connor said with a smile.

 

“Because he had a stick up his butt.” Connor groaned while he dramatically put his head back. He was still smiling, though. So that’s good. Connor opened his mouth to speak, looking a tad more serious, but still happy.

 

“I’m glad we uh. I’m glad we’re friends.” Evan felt the same way. No one actually wanted to be his friend. Evan thinks it’s because he’s annoying and clingy.

 

“Me too. I- I guess we were.. mint to be?” Another ice cream pun.

 

“Ughhhh!” Connor giggled right after saying that.

 

Their hands brushed against each other a few times, and every time that happened they exchanged glances and chuckled, being a light shade of pink.

 

Evan was convinced that they both liked each other. But the thing he had to figure out is whether or not they’re actually soulmates or those kind of people who don’t love their soulmate. In that case, it’d probably be hard to find them. Especially if they’re on the other side of the world. But his anxiety keeps him from asking to see his necklace. Perhaps he'd see his necklace by accident? Like if it fell out from under his jacket?

 

The boys had finished their food by now, and the two of them were thinking of things to do.

 

“Um, Connor? What do we do, uh, next..?” 

 

“I don’t know. I mean, we could go to the orchard and watch the sunset? That sounds too fucking sappy, sorry.” Connor looked down at the floor, obviously thinking it was too cliche for them to do.

 

Evan liked that idea. He likes the colors the sky changes into. Light blues to dark blues, light pink hues that transition into a deep red to an orange. He also liked the clouds when they would become red, orange, and pink.

 

“N-no! I really like that idea! We should watch it today.” They both looked in each other’s eyes, smiling at the other.

 

“Okay. Let’s-let’s go.” Connor stuttered. Was he nervous? If he thought they were on a date as well, then Evan figured it’s because of that. Even so, he’s not one to stutter. But whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a Heathers reference, and a reference to "Waving Through a Window". Nice. 
> 
> I MIGHT have the next chapter ready kinda soon? I hope :.)


	6. Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, angst, and then fluff. Have fun!

~ Connor’s POV ~

Connor knew that watching the sunset was a cliche, but he liked the idea. So did Evan, apparently. Connor also knew that Zoe was going to question him as to why he was hanging out with Evan all the sudden, and at the moment it didn’t matter because he’s spending time with him.

 

Once they parked at the orchard, Connor took a fuzzy, large blanket of Zoe’s from the back, considering it’d get cold once the sun set. The two exited the car, heading towards an open field framed with trees.

 

Connor set the blanket on the ground. When they were both laid upon the blanket, shoulders barely touching, Connor pulled the excess of the blanket over him which made Evan do the same.

 

_ I should speak. But what about? Oh, wait! I know. _

 

“So, um, I was listening to a song called “Stuck With Me” by The Neighbourhood a few days ago, and.. there’s these lyrics like “I got caught up in the forest. Hanging with the trees,” and it reminded me of you? ‘Cause you like trees? It’s stupid, sorry.” 

 

“That’s- that’s r-really swe- I mean, cool. Cool. I actually really, uh, like trees. It seems silly, but my nec-” Evan was cut off by his phone ringing. Who could it be?

 

_ Shit, was he about to say something about his necklace, or..? I probably shouldn’t ask and let him say it. _

 

Evan pulled out his phone to see who wants to contact him at the moment.

 

“S-sorry, may I..?” 

 

“Of course.” Evan answered it. Before he got to put it to his ear, Connor saw who it was. Kleinman. What would  _ he _ of all people want with him? Connor was 100% sure Evan and Jared weren’t friends anymore.

 

Connor climbed over Evan to whisper in his ear, away from the phone to make sure Jared couldn’t hear.

 

“Put it on speaker.” The other boy looked at him with uncertainty but complied anyways. Connor could hear Jared clearly now. Connor returned to his previous position.

 

They were both staring at the sky, noting that the sun was setting. It appeared to be moving slow, but it was going down nonetheless.

 

“-Look, I’m sorry for treating you like shit and saying what I did. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or anything. Could we by any chance go back to how it was before? You know, when you didn’t ignore me?” Jared’s apology sounded so..  _ empty. _ And a bit aggressive. Like he didn’t want to say it. Is this what Evan was talking about? How his parents forced them to hang out?

 

“Jared, we- we both know you don’t want t-to be friends with m-me. You really don’t- you don’t have to do th-this.” Evan sighed. Jared’s parents definitely forced him to apologise.

 

“Evan, I do. I mean, like, we could actually  _ try _ to be friends. I could  _ try _ to be more inclusive and less of an annoyance.” That was taking it lightly. Both Connor and Evan thought he was an asshole for how he treated Tree Boy ™.

 

“We both know you would- you would only do it for a day. A-and then go back to being- being an… asshole. I don’t want to be friends with you if you don’t want to.” Evan sounded a bit angry, like he doesn’t want to put up with Jared anymore.

 

 _Whoa, there. Evan doesn’t swear. He must have an underlying hatred for KIeinman._ _Though, Evan is too nice to hate someone, he mostly just strongly dislikes him._

 

“Evan.. you swore? I get it. I’m an ass. But don’t come crawling back to me when your school-shooter boyfriend kills himself, leaving you alone once again.” Connor’s face twisted with anger. He hated that comment. He would kill Jared if he could, but a simple beating would have to do for tomorrow.

 

“H-how do you- how do you know about- about Connor and I? A-and we’re n-not boyfriends!” Connor should do something about that, shouldn’t he?

 

“I  _ saw _ you two at the ice cream place. You were both blushing fucks, and then you made plans to watch the sunset. How romantic is that?” He was right. It was very romantic, and sounded just like a cheesy date. But Connor couldn’t admit that it was intentional.

 

“I- I… maybe it was romantic and.. seemed like a- a date.. but we’re n- not dating, it’s n- not like that. Just- just leave me alone.” And like that, Evan hung up. But he was shaking, taking frequent and shallow breaths. He was clutching onto his chest, tears pouring out his eyes. Connor knew it was an panic attack right away. He needed to go online to know how to handle this, so he took out his phone.

 

“Hey- hey, Evan, you’re going to be okay, you’re perfectly fine. Uhh.. okay, uh, this article says you should take deep breaths. Do it with me.” Connor breathed in deep, held his breath for a few seconds, and then releasing some time after with Evan following along.

 

“The article says to close your eyes, and get a focus object. Focus on me, focus on my voice. You’re going to be okay, you’ll be fine. Not only will you be fine, but you  _ are _ fine, okay? Relax.” He couldn’t do the others. The other ways included things like lavender, and some kind of pills. He hoped that would be enough.

 

They repeated this process for a while until Evan calmed down. He still had tracks from where the tears were, and Connor wiped them off his face with his thumb gently. He felt like he actually did something good, felt helpful.

 

While they were laying down, they were hugging. Evan’s face was buried into Connor’s chest, and Evan finally looked up to say something.

 

“T-thank you, I- I really- I really ap- appreciate it. Appreciate- appreciate y-you.”

 

“It’s no problem, Ev. I’m here for you, whenever and wherever. Just- just don’t bother with Jared, ignore him. He isn’t worth your time or your adorable presence.” Did he just say that. Did he. Just. Say that.

 

Both of their eyes became wide, a bright red blush planted on their faces.

 

“Y-you think I’m- you think I’m adorable..?” His voice had a tinge of hope in it. Does he want to be called adorable? Is it weird? It’s probably not weird if he wanted to be called that, so..

 

“I mean. Yeah. You’re, like, really cute and pretty and.. shit, sorry that’s probably weird.” Evan’s blush only grew as he smiled from the compliments.

 

“N- no, it’s okay. I- I think you’re really gorgeous and- and cute too.” He appeared to have felt embarrassed to say it, but it was genuine. And he called him  _ gorgeous?! _ Connor smiled at Evan.

 

“Well, uh, I don’t know if you noticed, but the sun is halfway gone. The sky and clouds look bright orange, and I don’t think you want to miss this.” They were so caught up with each other that they didn’t even notice the sun was almost gone. So, they admired the bright reds and oranges in silence.

 

It was getting chilly out there, making Connor put the blanket on top of the two of them. They ceased from hugging, but Evan was laying on his side while he had his arm around Connor’s torso.

 

They stayed there until the sun was no longer in sight, the moon shining above them vibrantly. Neither of them wanted to move, but of course, they must.

 

“Evan.”

 

“Mmm?” 

 

“We have to go home.” Evan looked at Connor with a pouty face. Which was honestly so cute Connor felt he was going to die.

 

“But Connnnn! I don’t want to.” Connor let out a small laugh at his childishness. He didn’t want to go either, but he knew they couldn’t just stay outside all night. He stood up and Evan rolled up the blanket into a ball, to then proceed to put it in his lap.

 

“Ev, come on. Do I have to carry you?” Connor said that sarcastically, though he’d love to carry Evan.

 

“Um… yes. Take me away, my prince!” Evan laughed at his own joke and Connor only gave an endearing smile. He did love this boy, didn’t he?

 

Despite Evan’s sarcasm, Connor scooped Evan up and ran with him. Evan squeaked and quickly put his arms around Connor’s neck. 

 

Connor kept going until reaching his car, panting because he’s not exactly physically active. He put Evan down at the passenger’s side and opened the door for him with a goofy smile.

 

“C-Connor I was- I was joking. Not that I’m, uh, com-complaining.” Evan gave Connor a smile to reassure him he did nothing wrong. Connor returned the grin towards him.

 

“No, I know. But I thought it’d be cute or, uh, funny. But let’s just go home, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Evan entered and Connor closed his door. He got into the other side of the car, started it, and drove off.

 

It wasn’t long before Connor dropped Evan off. They said their quick goodbyes with grins on their faces, and Connor went to park in his own house’s driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't update sooner because I got very busy, sorry! But uh,,, how do you like the angst ;)?
> 
> I hope this chapter is as good as others, I'm not too confident this time.


	7. Alana Beck and English Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana and Evan work on an English project for school, later talk about Connor and Evan rumors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to shout-out an AMAZNG fanfiction called Chronologic by TheTeamSharphooter! The author needs more exposure, considering their outstanding writing.
> 
> Also sorry I make Jared the bad guy, it's for plot and I love my Cronch Boi™!!
> 
> I don't think I wrote a lot, but it's all I can think of for this chapter.

~ Evan’s POV ~

It was the end of the school day and Evan was putting his books into his locker. He stuck whatever he needed at home inside his backpack and zipped it up. He put his backpack on, about to leave until he saw no other than Alana Beck walking towards him with an almost too-wide smile.

 

“Hey! We’re supposed to work on the English project together. We can exchange phone numbers, if you want.” Evan needed to process this first. Was he not paying attention in English? This is so unexpected. He needed to say something fast.

 

“Uh. I, um. Sure?” He took his phone to unlock it and hand to Alana. Alana did the same and handed her phone to Evan. After they were done putting their numbers in, they took their own phones. But Alana wasn’t leaving as Evan expected.

 

“I didn’t ask before, but how was your summer?”

 

“My..?” He didn’t even get to answer because Alana spoke before he could finish. Evan thinks that’s a bit rude, but he’s used to being cut off or ignored

 

“Mine was productive. I did three internships and ninety hours of community service. I know: Wow.” How busy was this girl?! Evan couldn’t handle all that stress, how does she do it? That’s all that really amazed Evan, considering he didn’t actually care about what she did- even if that sounded a bit mean.

 

“Yeah. That's, wow. That's really impressive.” Alana seemed proud of herself. But she also seems like she needs validation through good grades. It was obvious she wanted to have extracurriculars because she thinks it’d look nice on a resume.

 

Should Evan ask her to sign his cast like his mom said to? Is that weird? He doesn’t know Alana that well, but it should be fine. It’s just a cast.

 

“Do you want to maybe... I don't know what you're, um... do you want to sign my cast?” She looked quite alarmed after he said that, as if she didn’t notice his arm was in a cast.

 

“Oh my God. What happened to your arm?” He obviously couldn’t tell her how he actually broke his arm. No one knows about his attempt, and he plans to keep it that way.

 

"Oh. Well. I broke it. I- I was climbing a tree..."

 

“Oh really? My grandma broke her hip getting into the bathtub in July. That was the beginning of the end, the doctors said. Because then she died.”

 

_ ‘That was.. completely off topic. How do I even respond to that?’  _ Before he could even say anything, she plastered a wide smile on her face and walked away without signing his cast. Did she forget? Or did she not want to in the first place?

 

_ ‘Oh God that was weird- I shouldn’t have asked her at all. Now she thinks I’m weird and she won’t want to talk to me ever again.’ _

 

Once Evan got home, he received a text message. He got excited, thinking it was Connor, but it was just Alana. He wondered what she wanted?

 

**Alana:** Hey!! I was wondering when you wanted to work on the project. :)

 

**Evan:** Hi. I guess we could technically work today? Whenever you can is fine, actually. Sorry.

 

**Alana:** No need to say sorry! I could come by today if you wanted to work immediately, or tomorrow. 

 

Evan was about to text again, but he saw the three bubbles pop up and erased his message.

 

**Alana:** But I’d prefer to get things done faster.

 

_ ‘Okay so I guess we’ll work today? I mean she wants to get it done fast, so..’ _

 

**Evan:** Yeah we can work today. I’ll text you my address and you can come over. With supplies if you have any please? Sorry if that’s too much.

 

**Alana:** No not at all! I have all we need. I’ll come at six-thirty.

 

That was a relief. And from there, Evan texted Alana his address so she could get on her way. Since she’s coming over, Evan picked up any dishes left around the house and put them in the sink.

 

Heidi won’t be home until late, so Evan decided to shoot her a text explaining why Alana is coming over. As he was sending the text, the doorbell rang, making Evan answer the door to see Alana right there.

 

“May I come in?” Right. He almost forgot to do that. He mentally slapped himself for that.

 

“O- oh. Yeah, you can come in.”

 

The two of them got half of the project done by eight. By that rate, they could finish tomorrow. Or today, but it was becoming late. Evan was sure Alana’s family would have dinner sometime soon. They decided to slack off for the remaining time Alana stayed, something Alana wanted to object to, but didn’t anyways.

 

While Alana was there, the two of them bonded a bit. Telling funny stories that has happened, a slight bit of gossip that Alana brought up, and telling about themselves. But there was one particular rumor that caught Evan’s attention.

 

“Well there’s another rumor about you and Connor, have you heard?” About him and Connor? What could it possibly be?

 

“Um. N- no..? What- what are people say- saying?” Evan was nervous. Was it bad? Would this ruin his neutral reputation? Oh God.

 

“It’s basically just about you and Connor dating. Jared said so. I mean, he doesn’t have proof with, like, necklaces and all, but he says you two act like it. Says you went on a date or two.” Sure, they hung out. And sure, they may have been.. dates. But they weren’t dating, and now everyone thinks so thanks to Jared.

 

“W- well we’re not.”

 

“Evan, it seems obvious that you like him. If you do, that’s fine. Are you soulmates though?” How did she catch on? Was it when he looked at the floor? No, no that’s not enough. Was he blushing? I mean, his face did feel hot.

 

“O-okay. May- maybe I do. But I haven’t- I haven’t seen his necklace.” He was definitely blushing at this point.

 

“I ship it! You’d make a cute couple, although a weird one at that. Connor seems.. violent towards others… and has a drug addiction, he always smells like weed. As for you? You seem like the innocent and pure type. But you should totally ask to see it! I would.” Evan only heard things about Connor being violent, but he’s never seen it. Could it be Connor wasn’t letting him see it on purpose? Either way, talking about Connor negatively felt wrong.

 

“That’s- is that not weird to do?”

 

“Of course not! You could try to use some excuse like… wondering what his soulmate likes? Because both soulmates have a necklace of something one of them likes.”

 

“I- I guess.. maybe, uh, in a few days.” She seemed excited that her “ship” will possibly get together.

 

“That’s great! Hold on, what time is it?” Alana took her phone from her pocket, which she hasn’t been checking as often as she usually does, as if waiting for a notification.

 

“Oh shoot! I have to go now, my dad’s gonna make dinner soon. Bye, Evan!”

 

“Bye..” Alana packed up her things and left. Now that she’s gone, Evan can finally relax. No more social interaction for today.

 

Evan decided to go to sleep early, tired from the stress and anxiety that occupied Evan’s thoughts today.


	8. The Murphy Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Zoe build their relationship

~ Connor’s POV ~

As everyone seemed to know, Connor’s relationship with Zoe wasn’t exactly a positive one. Neither of them liked it, they both wanted to go back to the days where everything was fine. 

 

But Connor was violent. He smoked weed, drank alcohol if he could get his hands on it, fought people, dressed in dark clothes, stopped showering as often.

 

Connor blamed it all on his depression. He knew he needed help. Though, when asking his parents for a therapist or anti-depressants, Larry simply shrugged it off, kept saying it was all in his head, that he’s not trying hard enough.

 

Cynthia didn’t say anything though. She stayed silent whenever this came up. She tried to help him by herself, but that’s not what he needed. At a certain point, it irritates Connor. Once he makes a negative remark towards her, he feels guilty because he remembers all her efforts. Even if he feels bad, he doesn’t say sorry, finding it hard to do and not knowing why.

 

Connor planned to at least  _ try _ to make things somewhat right with Zoe. After all, he did emotionally abuse her. If she still fears him, it’s understandable, but he wanted even a small amount of progress.

 

For the occasion, Connor wanted to dress with color. Not too much, however, because he picked out a dark red and black button-up flannel with black skinny jeans, complete with his boots.

 

Connor headed out his room and towards Zoe’s room. He knocked on the door, waiting for Zoe to say something. When there wasn’t an immediate response, he knocked again.

 

“What do you want?” She sounded annoyed.

 

“To hang out..?” He wasn’t sure that she would want to do anything with him, so he made sure not to keep his hopes up.

 

“..Why? What’s gotten into you?”

 

“I just- I wanted to make things okay between us. You don’t have to do anything with me, considering what I’ve- what I’ve put you through.” There was silence. Connor was about to go back to his room until he heard Zoe speak again.

 

“I guess so..?” She opened the door cautiously. Connor felt.. glad. Glad that she’s giving him a chance. Because of that, he had a small smile on his face.

 

Zoe looked at him weird. Was it because he grinned? Now that he thinks about it, she hasn’t seen him smile without traces of sarcasm. He was always gloomy whenever she saw him.

 

“So.. what do you wanna do?” Connor asked as they were going outside towards Zoe’s car. Of course she’ll pick what they do, because if she had a good experience today, she’d feel better around him. At least he hoped.

 

“We could.. go to the orchard? Like before..” Their entire family had their share of good memories there. The good old days, as Connor liked to refer it as.

 

Connor figured she wanted to simply talk while at the orchard, considering there isn’t much you  _ can _ do, unless you bring something.

 

“Yeah, that’d be.. cool?” And with that, they hit the road. They make small talk, saying things about school and Zoe’s new girlfriend. Apparently, she was pansexual.

 

“Does Larry know?” Connor was sure that Larry wouldn’t approve of the LGBTQ+ community, seeing how small-minded he is. He doesn’t even acknowledge depression as a real thing, so might as well just assume to be safe.

 

“..No. I don’t think he’d accept me. Worst thing to happen if I came out to him is I’m kicked out the house. Or get shunned. Or both.” Basically what Connor thought.

 

“Yeah. I mean you at least like dudes, so it wouldn’t be too bad with him. I, however, am a full-on homosexual.” Zoe laughed at that comment. It was nice to think that she laughed because of him.

 

They went the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

 

Once they reached the parking lot, they exited the car without a word and walked towards the open field. The pair haven’t had a proper conversation in what felt like forever, making them unable to know what to talk about except for questions like “What’s your favorite color?”

 

First thing’s first, Connor needed to apologise to Zoe. Doing so, he couldn’t look her in the eyes since he was bad at interacting with people, so he stared at the ground.

 

“Zo, I know that I’ve, uh. Done bad things to you, emotionally. And I- I wanted to say sorry.” It was true, he felt terrible for his actions. But in the spur of the moment, he couldn’t help it. He only freaked out because things triggered panic attacks. Though if it was directed towards Larry, he didn’t care at all.

 

Connor looked at Zoe. She looked touched, but pained by looking back into the past.

 

“I appreciate that. I.. suppose I could accept your apology. But this doesn’t mean we’re automatically close now, and that I’m not still a bit scared.”

 

“I expected that. It’s fine though. As long as we’re better, I feel better. Now let’s have fun.” Connor took out a replica of the old toy plane they flew together. At least until Larry crashed it on accident.

 

Upon seeing the plane, Zoe was excited.

 

“What?! How did you get this?” That specific model wasn’t made anymore, but Connor managed to get it off of someone’s hands at a garage sale not too long ago.

 

“A garage sale. They probably didn’t know the worth ‘cause I got it for, like, five dollars?”

 

“What idiots. But that’s amazing that you got it, especially since our old one broke.” She was practically beaming at this point. Connor took the remote out so they could fly the plane.

 

They spent the rest of the time playing with the plane like children, giggling and smiling wide as the sun set.

 

“Con, as fun as this is, we need to go home. It’s late.” She called him Con again. That’s progress!

 

“Fine, fine. I’m not one to be all.. sappy, I guess, so this is kinda weird for me to say, but... I’m glad we hung out.” Talking about how he feels wasn’t exactly easy for him, and it made him feel uncomfortable, but he felt like he had to say that no matter what.

 

“Me too. Thank you. For being yourself again.”

 

“Uh… no problem.”

 

“Also! What’s with you and that Evan kid? I’ve been hearing rumors about you two, like you’re soul mates or something.” Connor immediately had a look of panic.

 

_ ‘Fuck. Should I tell her the truth? That I like Evan? What if she makes fun of me? Ugh.’ _

 

“Um. As far as I know, we’re not soul mates.” That’s true, though. As much as Connor would love to know, he doesn’t.

 

“That means there’s a chance. Do you like him? I won’t tell anyone if you’re actually soul mates or whatever. I can be your wing-woman if you know what I mean.” Zoe winked at Connor and he glared at her, blushing.

 

“You do like him! Aw, that’s so cute. It’s settled, I’m gonna figure out if you’re soulmates myself. Show me your necklace, chop chop!” He groaned but complied, taking out his necklace and showing her.

 

“A tree, hm? Yeah that’s Evan.”

 

The siblings felt satisfied, having built up their relationship a bit. Although, Zoe kept singing “Connor and Evan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” the whole way home. Now that Connor thinks about it, that’s a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get back to Connor and Evan, don't worry! I just wanted a few chapters focusing on them without the other.


	9. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy ;)

~ Evan’s POV ~

Evan didn’t know why, but Zoe started hanging out with him a lot starting on Tuesday the sixth of February, and now it’s Valentine's day. It made him feel good that someone talked to him without being forced to in any way. They’re not very close, but moderately close.

 

Lunch had started 30 minutes ago, and all they have done is talked. Evan opened his lunch box, taking out a bag of grapes to eat.

 

“So, Evan. Have you met your soulmate yet?” That was kind of out of the blue, considering they were just talking about musicals.

 

“Um.. no? Why do you- why do you ask?”

 

“I’m just curious who it is. Can I see your necklace? Maybe I know them.” Evan was sure that was a valid reason, but the topic was still out of the blue. He took out his necklace anyways, displaying it towards an excited looking Zoe.

 

“I knew it! Oh, sorry, I got excited. Yeah, I know who your soulmate is!” Evan’s eyes widened. Did she really, or is she pulling a prank on him?

 

“R- really? Who?!” He of course wanted to know, it was his soulmate!

 

“My brother! I mean, you have liked him for a while, haven’t you? Because he has.” It felt strange that he had to find out through Connor’s sister, but he’ll take what he can get.

 

“Uh… yeah. He really- he really likes me too?”

 

“Of course! You gotta tell him how you feel, Evan!”

 

“N- no that’s.. that’s embarrassing and I- I wouldn’t want to tell him myself. A simple gesture like.. like flowers or.. or chocolates would suffice. I’m not- I’m not good with words.” Zoe seemed frustrated and let out a sigh.

 

“Evan, dude, I can tell him to do something just so you don’t need to.”

 

“Yes please..” Zoe took out her phone and pulled up Connor’s contact. She texted him, and while doing so, Evan looked over her shoulder to see what she was saying.

 

**Zoe:** Hey so evan is your soulmate. Go get your mans.

 

**Connor:** what really?? zo, you’re the best

 

**Zoe:** Do something for him, bonehead.

 

**Connor:** don’t worry, I have an idea

 

What did he have planned? What was his idea? Guess he just had to find out himself, but that gave him anxiety, filling his stomach with dread. At the same time, he had butterflies and that’s self-explanatory. 

 

The bell rung, signalling lunch to have ended.

 

“Well, we have to get to class. See ya later, Evan.” They waved each other goodbye and left for class.

 

Evan was about to sit down in history when he felt his phone vibrate. Who would text him in school?

 

**Connor:** hey you wanna go to the orchard today?

 

Oh, it’s Connor. 

 

_ Oh, it’s Connor. _

 

**Evan:** Uh okay :).

 

_ ‘Oh no, was the smile too much? Is that weird? Is it a flirty thing? I’ve never flirted before and no one has flirted with me, how am I supposed to know?’ _

 

“Evan, put your phone away, class is starting.” The teacher said. Evan put away his phone, looking down to hide his red face.

 

~ Time skip ~

 

School is over now and Evan went to Connor’s locker to find him. Once he did, he waited for him to be done putting things in his backpack to talk to him.

 

Connor was finished and closed his locker. When he turned around, he jumped, clearly startled.

 

“You know you could’ve, like, spoke?” He laughed.

 

“Uh. Yeah, I guess so. Are we- are we gonna go to the orchard?” Evan was unsure if he still wanted to go or cancel their plans. He was also unsure if Zoe would let them borrow her car to drive there.

 

“Yeah. Hold on.” He walked faster than normal to catch up with his sister. After a few seconds, it looked like he was blushing while Zoe had a sly smirk on her face. She looked at Evan and winked, making him blush as well.

 

Once she turned to leave, Connor returned to Evan with keys in his hand.

 

“She said we can use her car, she’ll go on the bus.”

 

“O- okay.”

 

They then drove off, listening to the radio the whole way there. Upon arriving, they hastily got out of the car and ran.

 

_ ‘And there he goes, racing towards the tallest tree.’  _ Evan thought. From far across a yellow field he hears him calling, “follow me.”

 

One step after the other, one branch then to another. They climbed high, but not to the point where they would be able to bask in the sunshine. They sat on a thick branch of the tree, looking at the wonderful view they had.

 

The trees looked very beautiful, the wind blowing the leaves with the sun making them look translucent so they could see the veins. When that happened, Evan always thought it looked amazing, especially when  _ all _ the leaves of the trees are like that.

 

The clouds in the sky making visible sun rays was always beautiful, too. That was always a sight to see. The clouds were even glowing because of the sun.

 

It felt like a romantic setting, didn’t it?

 

But Evan preferred the view of Connor a bit more, his handsome face, nice hair, and… just everything about him was attractive to him. He was probably staring for too long, though, because Connor looked at him.

 

This was different, however. Because neither of them looked away in embarrassment, they kept staring with endearment in their eyes.

 

Connor inched closer and closer. So did Evan. Both unsure of what to do, but not showing it. Except because neither of them moving being the only sign of their uncertainty.

 

That is, until Connor decided to slowly close the gap between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet. Hope you guys like it, despite me leaving it on a cliffhanger! :)
> 
> Is this a short chapter? Idk. If so, blame it on how uncreative I am, cause I couldn't find anything else to write in it.


	10. Old Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets into his old habits of getting angry at people.

~ Connor’s POV ~ 

Connor couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the day before. Rightfully so. Did Evan even want to kiss him? Did Evan like him that much? They’re soulmates, but… whatever. 

 

Neither of them even spoke after it happened, they just held hands nonchalantly in silence. Well, almost nonchalantly, considering they were both completely red, with their smiling but scorching faces.

 

It’s Monday now, and Connor stayed in bed ever since without a word from Evan. True, he wasn’t the type to text first due to anxiety, which Connor knew and understood, but Connor was just too lazy to make the effort to text him either.

 

~ A day ago ~

After dropping off Evan, Connor went to his own house across the street, grinning from ear to ear. But it was really late. Upon entering his house, he was greeted by his parents at the doorway. They were expecting him, he guessed. His mom decided to speak first.

 

“Where were you, Connor?! It’s late, you had me worried to death!” He was going to try to walk past them both, but his dad put his arm out to keep him where he is.

 

“Your mother’s right. You have a goddamn curfew, and you’re expected to be home at that time. We don’t want a repeat of last year.” Right. Last year. That was when he first tried to attempt suicide. Late at night in a park because no one would be awake in the morning when he’s dead. But you will be found eventually, right? And he was found too early.

 

And so, because of that, he now has a curfew. Which irritates Connor. Cynthia looked worried, but Larry looked bothered, annoyed, not wanting to deal with this. He might as well explain, even if it’s only for his mom to hear.

 

“Yeah, right. Whatever. I was out with a friend. My best friend, in fact,  _ Larry _ .” Larry seemed taken back by that.

 

“You have a friend?!” Cynthia and Larry said in unison. Larry was questioning his very existence, it seemed, while Cynthia was proud and happy for him.

 

“Aw, Connor! I’m so glad! But please.. come back at curfew. I’d like to meet this friend, by the way.” She was smiling, putting her arms out for a hug. Did she have a tumor for breakfast? He wasn’t a touchy-feely person with his family.

 

Even so, Connor walked slowly towards her to proceed to hug her. She was clinging to him, not wanting to let go. They stayed there for a bit before Connor decided that was enough and stepped back, letting his arms go back to his sides.

 

He slid past the two, Cynthia’s hand lingers on his shoulder until he was out of reach, a content smile on her face.

 

Upon reaching his room, he closed his door. He needed to relax after that, stomach filling up with anxiety and dread. Weed calmed him down. He lifted his matress where he hid the joints and took one.

 

Connor opened his window, climbing on top of the garage. Was it considered a roof? Perhaps. Either way, he took a lighter from his pocket and lit it, beginning to smoke it.

 

He got the high he wanted, finishing the joint. He usually flushed them down the toilet to keep his family from smelling or seeing smoked weed, so he did just that. But his clothes would still have the odor lingering on it, so he went to the washing machine to wash it.

 

Wait.

 

He just noticed his jacket is dirty. What the hell did Evan think of it? He took it off and put in with the weed scented clothes. He got downstairs, started the washing machine with the clothes inside, and left.

 

He continued to travel to his room when he heard his parents talking through the door of their bedroom. He heard his mom first.

 

“Larry, he needs help. How many times has he tried to kill himself, Larry? Huh? You can’t take the shortcut of taking care of a child like that glove you’re so obsessed with!”

 

“He was only doing that for attention! He’s making up the ‘depression’ he claims to have. He has  _ no _ reason to be depressed. He has a friend now too, so he must not be THAT messed up!” Yeah, sure. It’s not like depression is a lack of dopamine in your fucking brain. Does he think that a friend, soulmate even, is supposed to make all his problems go away? Not a chance.

 

“Larry, you don’t understand what depression even is! I’ve actually put in the time to research it, and you keep going on about your beliefs. I would normally stay quiet about this, but I’m tired of seeing him miserable.”

 

“Fine! If you want to get him ‘help’ he so DESPERATELY needs, do it. I don’t care anymore. Waste our goddamn money. Just remember we’ve tried it before, and gave up because it stopped working.” Larry was.. defeated? After all that nagging, he finally gave in. Connor was… glad.

 

The door opened gently. It was his mom. She looked a bit angry, but her face softened at the sight of Connor.

 

“Hi, honey.. did you.. hear all of that?”

 

“Basically.”

 

“Well.. then you know we’ll be getting you therapy and medication, if needed.” She was smiling as she put her hand on his shoulder. Still seemed unbelievable. Connor looked into the room at Larry, who was steaming out of anger. Connor smirked, knowing he won.

 

“Suck it, Larry.” Larry turned around.

 

“Connor don’t you start with-” Connor’s mother glared at Larry, telling him to stop with a singular stare.

 

“Why don’t you get some rest, Connor. I’ll arrange everything. Are you.. high?” Would she be mad? Maybe. Even if she wouldn’t be mad, he didn’t want her to lecture him to not do drugs. The hallway light wasn’t on, so it was dark enough to the point where they couldn’t see if he’s high by his red eyes.

 

“No. I’m clean.” 

 

“Okay, I’ll trust you on this, Con. Just- just get to sleep.” Connor thought she didn’t trust him- no, knew she didn’t trust him. And for a good reason. Connor assumes she just said that because she didn’t want him to get annoyed, which makes him mad, which makes him aggressive, and so on.

 

Connor then went to his room without another word.

 

~ Back to the present ~

Connor laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. He should probably meet with Evan, talk. Decide if they’ll date or if Evan hates Connor now and has led him on. But does he have the energy? No. He feels exhausted already.

 

Was it the afternoon? It’s not like Connor can tell the time by the shadows, like some individuals. Either way, he wanted to sleep more.

 

But alas, the almighty Connor cannot stay in his beloved bed. ‘Twas Monday, the beginning of when the dreaded school week begins once again. And so, he got ready for school, aiming to look presentable for Evan.

 

Connor walked to the bus stop where Evan was waiting at.

 

“Hey.” No response. Evan was spacing out, staring at the ground without blinking. So Connor repeated himself.

 

“Hey? Earth to Evan.” Evan snapped out of his trance and turned at Connor. He didn’t look into his eyes, however.

 

“Oh. Uh. Hi.” Evan looked back at the ground, nervous. Was he uncomfortable? Maybe it was because they kissed. Connor seemed to fuck everything up. I mean, Evan liked him too, right? They were soulmates as far as he knew. Connor put his hand on Evan’s shoulder, unsure of what to do.

 

“Is something wrong? Do you want to uh… talk about it?” God, he wished he could comfort people.

 

“No, no, nothing is, uh, wrong.” Still no eye contact. Connor  _ knew _ something was wrong, but he can’t bug Evan to get it out of him.

 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Connor moved his hand off of Evan’s shoulder. They stopped talking, seeing as they didn’t have anything  _ to _ talk about.

 

After that awkward interaction, the bus had arrived and Evan rushed on in as if trying to avoid Connor. Maybe he was overthinking this, but it still hurt. Connor followed behind Evan and sat right next to him. 

 

He noticed that Evan stared out the window, not looking at or talking to Connor, playing with the hem of his shirt.   
  


“So uh.. Why did the duck cross the road?” Evan looked at him curiously, smiling anxiously.

 

“Because he wanted to prove he wasn’t chicken.” Evan gave him a small giggle.

 

“That’s funny!” But Evan returned to watching through the window, still smiling. It’s something, though not enough. Why is Evan like this? Should he even push and keep asking? I mean, what if it makes it worse? He’ll ask anyways.

 

“Evan, are you really sure nothing’s wrong? You’re kind of avoiding me.” He sounded hurt because, well, he is. Of course he could be wrong.

 

“Uh. No..?” He sounded guilty, what a terrible liar. He was smiling, regardless, which is why he was obvious. Perhaps because he’s uncomfortable, considering they… kissed. But Connor jumped to conclusions, thinking that Evan hated him.

 

“You’re lying. Why the fuck are you avoiding me? What were you doing this whole time, leading me on? That’s fucked up.” He was angry, of course but he didn’t want to hurt Evan. At least not physically. So he got up and sat in another empty seat without the bus driver seeing.

 

Before he sat down he had a glimpse at Evan. He looked sad, remorseful, and even more anxious.. Must be a good ass liar to look guilty since he didn’t even like Connor. The fact that he didn’t even say that Connor was wrong proved his point.

 

By the time the bus arrived at school, Connor blew off some steam but in result has a pit of sadness in his stomach. He didn’t notice the kids getting off until Evan swiftly passed him by. So he followed behind Evan, as he was the last to leave.

 

The two boys parted ways into the school. It was the same old same old, going classes to classes without talking to people, seeing as he doesn’t have friends let alone acquaintances. It wasn’t until lunch when it got different.

 

Connor was sitting at his table, alone of course, when a certain Meme Lord ™ strolled on over. Who was it you might ask? Oh but of course, it was...

 

THE AMAZINGLY COOL JARED KLEINMAN!

 

“Hey there, Hot Topic.” said the dead inside meme.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing. Why alone, Conman? Did you and your little boyfriend fight? A certain pure tree boy perhaps.” Boyfriend? He wished, I mean they hadn’t even established a relationship before he fucked it up. Nonetheless, he still blushed as red as a firetruck.

 

“Connor are you.. blushing?” He caught him. He was definitely blushing, feeling his face burn and practically sizzle on the spot.

 

“What- no..?”

  
“Did  _ I _ get the ever-stoic, hardcore, edgelord, Connor Murphy to  _ blush _ ?”

 

“No it’s uh- it’s cold in here.” 

 

“Uh huh. So it’s  _ not _ because you are actually soulmates with Evan, right?” Is it possible for Connor to have gotten redder? Because he most definitely had. Redder than the fire from the pits of Hell.

 

“N-no..” Connor’s voice cracked as he was beginning to talk. He couldn’t take this embarrassment and avoided Jared’s gaze.

 

“I even got your voice to crack! This is fucking gold! Who knew that you, Connor Murphy, would ever have a voice crack! Ha!” It was all fun and games, at least for Jared, but Connor’s mood suddenly swung as he got more and more irritated by the second. Who does Jared think he is?

 

“Look Kleinman, I’m gonna need you to leave. Right  _ now. _ ” He was angry. Angry that he was being made fun of for loving his soulmate, I mean who doesn’t? But he was also angry that Jared was able to make him feel like this.

 

“Aw, are you getting embarrassed?” Jared laughed as Connor was getting angrier.

 

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” He yelled. Jared stayed silent this time, no witty retorts as Connor kept going; “Stop fucking laughing at me, asshole.”

 

“You’re such a freak.” Jared laughs nervously, trying to leave.

  
“You think I’m the freak? You’re the fucking freak!” Connor screams as he pushes him to the ground, putting Jared into a state of shock before he gets up and runs out. Connor then realizes what he did, realizes how many people watched him do it, and storms out into the hallway, towards the doors at the back of the school and leaves. Fuck this school. Fuck Jared. Fuck  _ Evan Hansen _ for toying with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaa I'm so sorry it's late! Thank you for waiting patiently, and giving me all the love and support in the comments. I'm glad it's going well considering it's my first fanfiction! :)


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